~Forgiveness~

aSalaam uAlaikum My Stylish Sisters...
(and whoever else may be lurking about my blog)

Insh'Allah this finds all of you ladies in the highest imaan and good health.  Alhamdulillah everyone here is doing well.  Keeping busy, recovering from colds and all of those fun things that come around this time of year.  I've been seriously considering purchasing one of those French Press coffee pots, do any of you ladies have any experience with those?  I've heard the coffee tastes amazing, and they just look so fancy and elegant that I've always wanted one.

Anyways, I digress...this post is NOT just about coffee.  (I can hear the sighs of relief)

This post will be brief, to the point, just a quick reminder for all of my sisters (and lurkers) out there....and of course for myself.

I wanted to chat a bit about forgiveness. 

I can remember before converting to Islam, seeing people on the TV whose loved one had been badly hurt, or killed by someone speaking to the press about how through forgiveness they were able to move on with their life and I would think to myself  "They're CRAZY!"  First of all, how could you forgive someone for something like this, and second of all....how does forgiveness have ANYTHING to do with moving on in your life?

Well...I didn't have something quite THAT bad happen to me.  Alhamdulillah no one in my family was killed or anything by anyone else, but I personally was badly hurt by someone close to me a couple of years back.  And when I say hurt I mean kicked in the gut, doubled over on the ground, sobbing kind of hurt.  I mean the not wanting to get up in the morning, forgetting to brush your hair, not wanting to eat kind of hurt.  In short...I was a MESS.

In time, I was confronted with the choice of forgiving this person, or keeping my heart hard toward them and hating them forever.  I prayed A LOT.  I made TONS of du'a.  I fasted, I attended the masjid, I made dhikr....and I prayed some more. 

And eventually...I forgave them.  I don't think it was even a conscious decision I made.  I honestly think it was a change that Allah swt made in my heart for me.  He knew what was best for me (as He always does) and He emptied my heart of the rock that had formed there, and replaced it with forgiveness.

The funny thing is...sometimes it's the actual moving on part that is even harder than the forgiveness.  You see, if you turn to Allah swt HE will take care of the forgiveness...and of course He helps you with the moving on too....but that's something you have to keep trying at.  Every.  Single.  Day.

Alhamdulillah, it's taken time.  There have been ups and downs.  Lots of tears.  Sleepless nights.  And many days I asked myself if I made the right decision.  But that doubt in my decision only lasted until I realized that it wasn't a decision I had made, it was a path that Allah swt had chosen for me.

So you see ladies (and lurkers) forgiveness takes a long time.  A lot of patience, and tons of prayer.  But in the end....

Alhamdulillah it's worth it.

Ma'Salaama and Remember:
"Those who control their anger and are forgiving towards people; Allah loves the good." (Qur'an, 3: 134)

Forgivingly Yours,
The (Insh'Allah I too will be forgiven one day) Mujahada in Prada