aSalaam uAlaikum and Good Morning My Stylish Sisters!
Insh'Allah you all had a restful night's sleep. I am only on my first cup of coffee for the day, and won't fully wake up until at least the second or third so please forgive me for my typos.
First off this morning I would like to address a little issue that slightly hurt my feelings, and caused me not to write for this last week or so. As I'm sure most of you ladies have noticed I like to put a small poll at the upper right hand corner of my blog so I can keep my sisters involved in choosing the topics we discuss. This past poll I asked what you would like me to talk about next, and jokingly included an option that said "Nothing, we've heard enough" not realizing I was opening myself up to criticism. You can imagine my shock and disappointment when I logged on a few days ago and found someone had chosen this option.
I know it is impossible for everyone to like you all the time. It's actually something I've struggled with since a child, trying to spread myself too thinly in the effort of appeasing everyone's opinion regardless what my own personal beliefs were. It has gotten me hurt and disappointed in the past, and even though I'm grown up now it still hurts to know someone out there doesn't enjoy my posts.
I debated about not posting anymore, wondered if perhaps my time and efforts would be better spent elsewhere, and seriously considered giving up on blogging for good. But then I realized that if I stopped blogging, if I stopped meeting with you amazing Muslimahs from time to time, then I would be putting that ONE person's opinion above the 26 opinions of my fashionable followers. And that wouldn't be fair to all of you.
So, bottom line is this. There will be times in life that people don't agree with what you're saying. For one reason or another there may be a clash of personalities, a difference of opinion or some other obstacle between you and another person. Whatever the case may be, it's important that you listen to that person's opinion, but don't let it stop you from being yourself. Because for every one person who may NOT like you, there are probably twenty more who DO like you!
So, now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'd like to chat a bit about an issue that has come up several times throughout my years as a hijabi. It's something I've struggled with every so often, one that has caused me to experiment a bit and find a happy medium between my inner modest Muslimah and fashionista. The issue I'm talking about is: what is considered "good" hijab, and what is considered "bad" hijab?
There are those sisters who may feel that only black, grey, or browns are acceptable colors for a Muslimah, as well as others who feel that as long as their hair is covered it doesn't matter what color or print their scarf is. There are those who feel that we should wear only abaya or jilbab, and many who prefer to wear jeans or long skirts with tunics. The styles of hijab vary as much as the Muslimahs who wear them, and it's important that we consider the fact that each Muslimah is at a different point on her path in Islam before we judge her style of hijab.
Here are some pictures of different styles of hijab. Take a look at them, and pick out those you consider "good" or "bad" then ask yourself- why am I jumping to this conclusion? Don't worry- this is NOT a test; there are no right and wrong answers here. (well there probably are, but I'm not the one to be the judge of that-only Allah swt can judge our intentions)
So what do you think ladies, are any of these hijabis better than the other because her hijab style is better? When you walk through the mall and see a hijabi wearing tight jeans and a three quarter sleeve top do you automatically judge her or make a comment under your breath? I know it is only human to do this, it's hard to reserve judgement when you feel strongly that someone is not behaving in the way we feel is required of us. But instead, next time you see someone wearing something that you feel is "bad" hijab ask yourself this: How do you feel when someone judges you? Have you always been as strong as you are now in your faith, or at the point you are now on your personal path in Islam? Giving our fellow Muslims their 70 excuses is as much our responsibility as a Muslimah as is wearing hijab, so if we are jumping to these conclusions, in a way we are foregoing one Islamic duty for another.
Let's try to be a little more understanding of eachother. Of course it is our responsibility to kindly remind eachother if our intention is purely for the sake of helping our sister in Islam to follow the guidelines set forth for us. But at the same time, that hijabi you are judging, or backbiting, or pointing out and giggling over with your girlfriends at the mall is a Muslim like you, a daughter like you, and most importantly she is your sister in Islam.
Remember: Compassion is Always in Fashion!
Ma'Salaama and Enjoy Your Own Path!
The (far-from-perfect) Mujahada in Prada
P.S. Here is a link to a fatwa regarding this very subject. Insh'Allah you find it beneficial!