aSalaam uAlaikum and Good Morning My Stylish Sisters!
Up until a couple of months ago I hated sleeping. I had so many other things I wanted to do with my days (and nights) that I often wished that Allah swt had made me with some kind of charger that could just be plugged into the wall for a couple of hours a day.
The house was never clean enough, I had never studied enough, I hadn't read all the books I wanted to read, I hadn't played with my daughter enough or spent enough time with my husband. The list went on and on of excuses why to stay up, instead of getting the sleep I needed.
Then in the last couple of months that has all changed. You see sisters, I have reached a bit of a speedbump. I am not the super motivated perfectionist Mujahada that you have come to know. I've gotten lazy...even lethargic.
I realized a couple of days ago I just need to admit the fact that I'm a bit blue.
This last couple of years has been really tough for me. My personal life has been uprooted more than once, and thrown into turmoil by people surrounding me. I have had to move five times since my daughter was born two years ago. And I don't mean to say all of this to complain, but simply because I think it's time that I face the music and pull myself out of this rut.
The weird thing is, I still avoid sleep like the plague. For some reason my dreams are never happy, and when I wake up from sleeping I actually feel worse than when I laid down.
Tonight while I was doing everything possible to keep from going to bed I heard screaming in the neighborhood behind my house. There was a man's voice yelling at a woman to stop screaming, and I could hear someone being hit with something loud. I called the police, but by the time they arrived the screams had stopped and I don't think they found anything. It was scary to me, but as I called to the police wandering the street below I realized they were probably wondering who this crazy woman was sitting in her window waiting for some kind of excitement to happen. *sigh*
Anyways...I have to find a way to get out of this funk sisters. My husband suggested I get back into something creative....which would be wonderful if I could figure out a way to get my sewing machine back from Amman (it's a looooong story). My mom suggested I make a small goal for myself each day that I can feel good about crossing off my list before going to bed every night, which I am going to try to do tomorrow.
How about you amazing Muslimahs? Do you have any suggestions? What do you do to pull yourself out of a fog, and help feel better when you're not running at your optimal speed?
Well, I guess for now I'd better get some sleep. It's getting late, and before I know it my daughter will be shaking me awake to make her some breakfast.
Ma'Salaama and Sweet Dreams!
The (down in the dumps) Mujahada in Prada
P.S. The police didn't find anything. Insh'Allah what I heard was someone's TV and my overactive imagination (combined with watching too many episodes of Cops and The First 48) I'll keep you updated if I hear anything else.